Scientists say there are two types of marriages: happy and unhappy. Those in the unhappy range usually know it, but don’t want to admit that fact to themselves. Our psyche tries to protect us from unhappiness by glossing over things and not letting us see obvious problems. If you want to take an objective look at your relationship, check these 5 criteria to get a clear picture.
The relationship with the in-laws
In cases where your partner’s parents are still alive, you also marry them in a certain sense. Because you bring them into your life permanently. And the relationship with them is not always characterised by happiness. Whether this has a negative effect on your marriage is determined by the question of whether the couple makes common cause. Should disputes arise, will the partner stick with the family? Are mum or dad still the most important people in his or her life? If you notice that you always come second in an emergency, then this is not a good basis for the future.
Money, dear money
Everyone has his or her priorities. One person wants to serve the finest food for the guests at the event location, while another person wants a nice flat. Such small discrepancies in priorities are normal. However, if one of the two is a miser or a spendthrift on all subjects, then there will be problems. It is also unfavourable if one party always wants something different and is uncompromising with every purchase.
An important question is above all the debts. Separate accounts are rather the rule today. But what happens if one of the partners becomes unemployed? Will the other then cover the bills? Is the money refunded? Or is it a gift?
If you really have to account for every cent and blithely watch the other person suffocate in debt, you should really ask yourself whether the marriage is worth it.
Sex – who wants how often?
Stochastically, men almost always feel sexually undersupplied. On the other hand, you can live very happily with that as long as it doesn’t fall below a certain level. But much more important is the question: Why is there no more sex? Has it always been this way? Or is it a subtle sign that one of the partners is becoming more and more emotionally distant? If so, these problems should be addressed as soon as possible.
Children – yes or no?
It’s clear that a marriage will certainly fail if the subject of children comes up at some point. One wants to, the other doesn’t – that’s an unsolvable crisis. If someone suppresses the desire to have children – it works. But it leaves deep traces in the relationship. This too can lead to failure at some point.
Love – really?
Saying “I love you” does not require much effort. In many marriages it is thrown around in an inflationary manner. Despite all the love, however, it is the case that one prefers to spend his time with friends or hobbies without the other. Love actually means enjoying each other’s company. But if you no longer want to spend time together, who wants to talk about love? The best way to express it is non-verbally. Namely, by giving the other person your time of life – and very much so.